After being here a week, it's becoming more and more difficult to stay positive. Especially with the advent of 2 roomies (separately), I think my psyche is starting to get a little screwy. There are times that I just can't stop crying and times where I need to call the nurse for anxiety meds b/c I feel like I can't breathe and my chest is going to explode.
It's tough to be out of the loop too. I hate that I'm missing so much of what's going on in the outside world. I hate that I'm missing Eli and Dave so much. I know for Eli this (possible) 6 weeks of his life is a drop in the bucket that won't have any long term effects on him, but for the babies, this (possible) 6 weeks of my hospitalization is crucial for their development and health. It's just so hard to be torn between 2 places and missing the outside world so much.
Thank you to the few who have sent cards, texts, and emails. Each and every one of them made me smile when I all I really want to do is cry...
4 comments:
I am sorry. I am sure it is hard. I was never in the hospital before I had the babies and I felt like I was missing out on the outside world, but I am sure its even worse being in the hospital. Hang in there, I hope these last few weeks fly by and you will have some big healthy babies to show for all of this.
I'm sorry you're having a rough time. If I didn't live all the way across the country I'd totally come visit you in the hospital. I know it's hard to sacrifice so much for your little ones' sake, but you're doing a great job. :)
Hang in there Renee. Just remember that you are being the best mother ever for those little ones. I can't imagine how difficult and stressful it must be, but your true strength will help you through it all. We think of you often and as always are in our prayers.
Renee, I just want you to know that we are thinking of you and praying for you and your family. ((((HUGS))))
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